at ease

i have no clue why or how, but i have peace and calmness that i haven't had in so long. i feel like things are going how they should, and even when they aren't i'm able to relax and just know it's out of my control. i've had a lot of people come in and out of my life, but i am not holding on as tight anymore. the people who will stick around, you don't need to hold on or fight for like i have. Right now a main priority is being there for kyle, all of us are focusing on that. we're the most solid and golden group of friends i think youd ever come across. because we've been through it all together, and have always been there, no matter how far we drift. i've taken them for granted in years past but in the last year, ive really learned to value the true and beautiful things in my life. It has taken me so long to not stress over, and let go of the things i've forced, but i think ive really got it now. life isn't about what ive made it for so long, because those things are temporary, those things fade away and won't mean anything in the end. i'm trusting God, cause i know He's got a plan that i can't understand right now, but He always works it out some how.

I can't wait for Christmas, I can't wait for cro-mags on my birthday, i can't wait for my 80s dance party, and i can't wait to move into the new apartment.