reckless driving

i dedicate myself, i know what i want, i know what it needs to be
but i fall, it's all in my head but i can only apply it for a little bit before i mess up again. i want to succeed steadily, really. i am ashamed, and angry at myself for my past. i can't believe some of the things i've done. i need so much work, i do not know if i will ever be satisfied with myself, and that scares me.