004.

Well we won, now to the world series. Living in this city has made baseball grow on me, never thought i'd say that.

stayed home instead of going anywhere today.

i found this list of alternate things to do on a date, i thought some were neat and someday when i find someone who doesn't weird me out/someone who can stand me, i'd like these things very much so.

6. Build forts out of furniture and blankets, and wage war with paper airplanes.

8. Go to the airport, get the cheapest, soonest departing flight to anywhere when you show up, and stay there for a weekend.

10.Dress to the nines, pretend to be married, and test drive very expensive vehicles at an auto dealership.

11.Do the lamest tourist thing in your area that you have both secretly wanted to do forever.

12.In the middle of the night, drive to the beach, so you arrive just as the sun is rising. Have a breakfast picnic, then fall asleep together. Bring a sun umbrella.

18.Walk around the city all night and find a place to eat breakfast at dawn


but i like 12 most

003.

hope this happens tonight, or to some extent, regardless, Phillies win, i will be down in center city to witness Philadelphia at its worst/best.

Things have been falling apart in little ways around me, bike accident, computer crashing, my love life is a mess as always ( i know i know, i'm the cause for this one), but honestly i just feel a little crazy, a little less surprised by each thing that goes wrong, and a little bit more nostalgic for a time where i had much less responsibility, and the responsibility i did have, i didn't really have to answer for. wait, did i ever have that?
side note: NYC, and that whole weekend was really fun. riding up & back with everyone and doing merch w/ danielle for MOM was a nice break from sitting in my drafty apartment working on a computer with a failing hard drive. Definitely very interesting. We got pulled over twice in one night, first time Bob was driving the van, second time I was driving us back to the city, and I got pulled over for running a red. Somehow we got off with warnings for both of these, no clue how. It Good to see the people in NY who are always a pleasure to see.

i'm just tryin to live

i see God in verbs, and satan in long words

there is something in an empty bed that makes it hard to close your eyes


this is fall right, usually my favorite season, time for warmer clothes, hot beverages, pumpkin picking, hay rides, spooky things, all things fall have always been exciting for me. instead this year i just feel out of sorts. i just don't know, and i guess that is all i have to offer. i don't know how to feel or if i feel at all on a couple of different things. i am quite unsatified with progress in many areas of my own life. it is almost as if when my world becomes hectic and involving a few too many things, i lose care for all of it. i guess i have trouble narrowing my focus and attention on certaint things, i'm just overwhelmed. i want so bad to pull away for a day or forever and just go do things that don't feel so meaningless or trival in the long run. it's funny because while i know school is going to better my future, i am so cold toward it this semester so far. i just need to shake it off and find some way to keep my head clear.


These 3 albums have been on constant repeat for this season, and will remain that way, Brand New- Daisy, Death Cab- Plans, The Jealous Sound- Kill Them with Kindness.

That is all.

001.

I didn't like this new album when i first heard it, it has grown on me. pretty miserable.




hey, you i miss you. but please don't come back


into another

a lot of things have made absolutely no sense lately. i mean, more so than normal. the loss and addition of many things, some things i would have liked to not gain. some things are better left unsaid. I go to sleep and wake up to the sounds of the city, the sirens, the 24-hour trolly at it's regular intervals. it can silence your mind at times when you realize how much is going on around you and just how small your own world is. I've got to do what's best in the long run, and i know that some of the things i want right now won't be. and that's okay. Today was really sad, seeing the class you graduated with, teachers, etc. in tears, and just the loss of a really awesome girl, who had so much to live for. I'm praying hard for Jenny's close family and friends. Rest In Peace Jenny Blees, 19 is way too young.

i was the one with the world at my feet

I've never lived life like i don't have tomorrow, i don't know what it will take for me to develop a good quality of life, to cut out the things that i know i need to, and to not lose sight of what i know i can hold on to.