slow down

say hello to my packing buddies



do you ever have those days where it's just sort of painful to be alive? and every single thing that you do, every sentence that leaves your lips, feels like there is a milestone attatched. a milestone piled on top of all your anxities, and all your doubts or maybe that's just reality. the reality of it all. it's been one of those days for a long time. people offer distant words or half ass encouragement. usualy it just ends up being about them anyway. nobody attemps to pry it out of me which i appreciate i guess. i am content staying behind these walls. i don't have an awful life. i am trying to live, and i am trying to make it work. i am trying to make sense of why i'm here. I have to constantly remind myself who i am and who made me. i have a God who is bigger than this, no matter how distant He feels sometimes. Love and compassion for other people isn't a human characteristic, it's gotta come from something bigger than us. "we love because He first loved us". i guess i feel really lost in all of this, am i expecting and sort of terrified of it being unveiled while i'm overseas, yes. but i guess we will see. i am exited for death threat friday, and any song they play off peace and security. diner after with good friends too. there are a few people i'm going to miss a bunch for sure. i don't know how i should feel right now, i'm sort of in this, "wow, this was a great idea when i thought about it, but what in the hell was i thinking" mindset. so hopefuly it turns into something else, and i know i wouldn't be going if i wasn't supposed to be. He has a plan, always does. 3 months isn't long but i'm finally feeling crazy for doing it. whatever. i've finished most of my packing, and will return to my apartment one last time before my departure. less than a week, here we gooooo


these are a few pictures taken by someone who worked at the orphanage i will be at, Amani Baby Cottage. Here is the adress if you would like to write me or something, i'll write back, promise:

Amani Baby Cottage
Att: Kelsey Nielsen
P.O. Box 1799
Jinja, Uganda, East Africa

(don't send packages, they take months to get to the location, probably would get there after i left, BUT letters shouldn't take to long! if you give me your adress i'll send you a post card!)