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Happy Thanksgiving from the Nielsen family (pre-view of the 2009 Nielsen Christmas card)



I am thankful.

Thankful for having more than i deserve at all. for having love in my life. for a mother who has loved me unconditionaly, through all of the bull shit i have put her through (and it's been pretty bad). Thankful for the times when God's love is real to me, and i can see a purpose in things. I am thankful that He has a love for me that far outweighs all the times i turn my cheek. Thankful for forgiveness, and for fresh starts. Thankful for my Pup, she makes me smile every time i walk in the door. Thankful for food to eat (in that i need to be respectful of it and be healthy). Thankful for being able to go to school and get an education, despite the frustration or monotonoay of it all. Thankful for getting to go to Uganda in 2 months. Thankful for friends who have loved me when i was pretty unlovable. Thankful for Jessie Gaul, Danielle Sheldon, Kyle Henley. Thankful for people who i've met and learned something from. Thankful for people who have confronted me or helped me grow up. Thankful for honey crisp apples, purple grapes, sugar free red bull. Thankful for having less and less care about consumerism, and having nice things. Thankful for other friends who are real and i can have fun with.

Today I wrote out 4 notes to my Mom, Elise, Josh, and Brian. I just wrote what I was thankful for about them. I just wanted to do it, and i think i'll start doing it every year maybe. Working on being less selfish, less demanding of instant gratification. Elminating selfish desire would be nice, that won't happen but i guess just working towards it maybe i'll get somewhere. maybe not.


Saw brand new twice this tour, drove up to CT last night with april, was the best brand new set i've ever seen. I'm glad we went.

Goodnight

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hi, i help others because i know that nobody can help me. because i want to do so many things and go so many places. every day i wake up and wish i hadn't. and it feels awful when you walk out the front door with that mindset and you see a homeless individual with a drug addiction and/or mental disorder, and you feel nothing but guilt for feeling so miserable. how can these things manifest, and stick around for so long, when i have a place to live, i have people who love me. dad i miss you, but i deserved to tell you what you put me through. i've been through some things, but i've met people who have seen far worse. i know what i have, i know what i should be able to do. if it were that simple, it would be that simple, and i would not wake up and go to bed feeling completely void of any importance or emotion, regardless of the events i have experienced that day, or have to look forward to. what a joke. i'm my own hell, seriously have always just been fighting a war against myself, i can't remember a day with a clear mind, but that would be nice. I can't save myself, how do you save yourself when you are the problem

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...yeah kinda like that